Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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