Whod you bang
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Don't tell me you're on acid again
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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