random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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