so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
