It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
