I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
