Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
