I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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