He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dear god my vagina.
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