you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
