Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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