After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
