i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
