A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize