im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
