I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
