Screwed.edu
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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