i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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