Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
