dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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