So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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