a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
