I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
