i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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