I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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