At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
