You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize