i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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