I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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