It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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