Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
how drunk are you?
Several
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
