i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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