can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
