Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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