can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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