Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
