Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
