also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
