R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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