Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
