so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
