i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
