I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
