I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
