I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i out mim tonsoeep
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