yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
