im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
