imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There's a naked man in my car right now.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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