My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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