I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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