addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
