He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
