is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
