I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
