someone threw a dead crab at me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
