Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
