i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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